ahh the service went very well. It was a beautiful ceremony. I loved it. My Uncle would be so proud. There were a lot of people there. I am

just sooooo happy. I know he would have been happy. Its just going to be weird not seeing him around. I saved all the articles from his newspaper, I have the news interview taped. It was very emotional but a very good.

He had a lot of friends there. His friend Scott and his ex wife janet took it pretty hard. It was hard to see them crying. It was especially hard to see Steph crying. Its especially hard knowing that I am not going to be seeing him in the flesh again. Its hard.

I miss my dad. I want to forgive him sooo bad, but I just can't bring myself too. Am I being selfish. I do not know.

Tonight me and joey went to a wedding, it was his old track coach. I had a good time hanging out with him... I miss hanging out with Nick. I think I like nick. Its hard to explain, because I have liked troy since me and dustin were dating. I just never thought me and troy would be where we are today.. No we aren't dating or anything yet. We just sleep in the same bed together practically every night. Yes sounds confusing doesn't it? Last night in bed I told him I'm glad we can just lay here with out doing anything. Okay of course we always make out, but... Its like he doesn't expect sex which is good. Because I do not want to rush anything here. Then he said to me I'm not going anywhere sweetheart. Which made me feel even better, because I told him Its not like I dont want to make love to you, its just I dont want to rush things. Then that is when he said I'm not going anywhere. Who knows will see.. Maybe I should work a little bit for nick. He is closer to my age, he doesn't have a kid, an ex wife-he doesn't quite have as much baggage as Troy. You know what I Think my problem is, I go for the guys are going to be a challange for me. And once I get these guys I lose interest in them. Who knows. I'm tired and I just keep on rambling..

Good Night.

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