I didnt have a very good day today. I thought about my uncle a lot. I miss him. Life has definately changed a lot in the past two months. We can't go about our daily lives. If one of us dont answer each others phone calls we worry. Like tonight I called my mom for a bit and the line was busy. So I took off of work and I went to her house to see if something was wrong. Thank god riley, just knocked a little switch. Still I hate worrying about things like that. I would do anything for my uncle to be here still. I have so much hate, anger, sadness, revenge in my system and its not getting out. NO ONE cares. No one cares that he died and he was a good swimmer. WHY DID HE DROWN?????????? No one cares that his 10 year old daughter is going to grow up with out him. I just want my uncle to give me a sign and tell me eveyrhing is going to be okay. That I can move on and he wont be mad at me. Its sad how things need to be like this when hes gone, yet I didn't tell him that I loved him before he died.

If he would have never met that bitch. He would still be alive. I hate her with a passion. I know I will never forgive her. I don't want to have these feelings anymore, I want to be able to close it out. Yet I can't!! I have no one to talk about this with. I was tempted to call dustin, but I know he wont talk to me. He use to listen to me talk all the time. AHh I need to get to bed my eyes are teary and I need to clear my head with all of this.

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