Typical saturday. Well, not really that typical. Josh {yes my friend overseas} his mom and step dad came and got his stuff from my house... Since he will be overseas for a while. And he doesnt plan on coming back to fargo :( So they didnt want his stuff here, which is understandable.

You know the saying when it rains it pours. Thats how my luck has been lately. I'm completely broke, well not completely, but my car is a piece of shit. I need a new one desperately.... So hopefully my mom will cosign a loan for me, cause I cant get one bymyself. I do not have enough credit established. I'm trying to get credit though. So she is helping me out this way. I have God, I want to move home for a few months so I can get my bills paid, okay I dont have a LOT of bills, but I hate paying them. I just want to get them all paid so I dont have to worry about that. I don't know. Who knows. Not me!

I feel like an outcast. I don't know what I want to do with my life. I have gone to three years of college and I'm now thinking to myself why did I go to college right away after high school? I wish I would not have went right away. Cause I have NO idea what i'm gonna do. I just wasted three years of school.. Well, I know I didnt waste three years, but I didnt accomplish a whole lot... I hate it. With the way things have been going lately, i just don't know what I want. I know I want to be financially secure to take care of myself and my kids {hell providing I find someone}... Its all confusing. I'm having weird thoughts lately, about what I am going to end up doing for the rest of my life. I know they say if you have dreams go for the, , but I do not have enough motivation right now to even shoot for my dreams. I'm just in one of those kind of moods. I know this may sound negative, but I do not want to be that girl in the gas station working there until I'm 40. I just do not want that to be me.

I do not like indecisive men either. Tonight, shawn took me to work, so I told him before he left that he should pick out a place where he wants to eat tonight, cause I owe him big for taking me to work, cause my car is FUCKING A PIECE OF SHIT! ugh, i hate that thing, anyways, I told him to pick a place to eat and he couldnt even do that. Hes like I really don't care, honestly... Ugh I hate that in guys. I do it so I dont think they should. 95% of the time though, I do pick a place if someone ask. So I said to shawn, I'm like never mind, I am just going to eat next door, which is shitty arby's, but damn. It pissed me off. He offered to take me home, but I'm like Tyler will take me home.. Truth is I haven't even asked tyler, even if tyler can't take me home, I'm sure chris can take me home, I work with him tonight and its not really all that far out of the way.. If all else fails, I just call my mom..

Ugh, plus the other night, Jason text messaged me he asked me if I have a new boyfriend? I'm like why the fuck are you asking that.. He said because you haven't texted me for a while wanting to make out.. Maybe its because I dont wanna make out jason.... Dumbass never thinks of the logical answers.. plus I talked to nick the other day. It was good to hear from him ;)

I suppose I better get some work done. I am at work. I need to maybe straighten movies.

Oh, and if you read THIS diary, please let me know by signing the guest book, because if no one reads this, then I am just gonna write in my other one... So please sign the guest book and leave me some love...

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