March 05, 2004 - 3:04 p.m.

you dont always have to fuck her hard.

No pictures this entry I'm sorry. I know you just ALL want to see my beautiful smile everyday, but I am fresh out of smiles today. Infact I am kind of crabby today. I wanted to go tanning, but I helped out two of my friends today, I gave one of them a ride to the hospital and I did some stupid payday loan thing for Jack, I will be pissed if he doesn't pay it back. SERIOUSLY pissed. I will never talk to that kid again. I have a problem with helping people out when they need help I mean he hasn't done anything to prove me wrong, yet, so I hope he doesn't.

Last night, I went to All Star Bowling at the bowling alley to watch scott bowl, I don't know what I think of that kid, I know I'm not sexually atttracted to him in ANY MEANS, but he seems like a nice enough guy to hangout with, but people tell me he is into some heavy drugs, etc. I can't tell and I'm the type of person that normally is a good judge of character, besdies on a few rare occasions. So I guess will see how things go, I should probably tell this boy that I dont want anything more than a friendship, but I'm so hard at that. I feel bad for breaking boys hearts :)

Anyways new news about Lion Boy, my friend Sarah talked to him, well on Wednesday night he wanted to come over AFTER I was done with work at 2a.m. I guess he told Sarah that he wanted to see where things went with us, but heres my deal... I said NO he couldn't come over after work, and I told sarah she didn't have to call him anymore because I don't want to hang out with him. HOW FUCKING WEIRD AM I? I push away this cute guy, who seems interested in me and I do this. I sometimes amaze myself. Heres my theroy on this situation. I LOVE the challenge the boy gave me there for a little bit, I like the chase, what can I say I'm a Lion :) And once I knew I could get him, again, it was like Nah, I don't want him anymore, but this boy was super cute and his smile was just to die for, so maybe that wasn't the case on this situation, maybe I felt like I was pushing too hard, or hell I don't know.

I think about Dustin a lot. You know he was the boy that made me feel the safest, he made me feel beautiful and we were together for ALL the right reasons, who ever dustin marry's is going to be one lucky lady and I will be jealous, because that boy has soooo many good qualities in him, he has a direction, very cute and he treats the girls he is with awesome. I would have to say that he was my favorite mistake.

Anways out of the blue yesterday, Jason text messaged me and he asked me some weird questions. He asked me if I had any new boys in my life. I'm like kind of, sort of.. Hes like oh yeah I have a boring relationship too, he told me he wanted to hang out... LIKE GO TO A MOVIE! I was shocked. We have this agreement that we only get together for sex, well we don't relaly have one of those relationships but thats what I assumed it was. And I am okay with that, because jason is a cute boy too, but hes not a guy I can take home to mom, again...

Tyler is in this weird cleaning mood. He cleaned the WHOLE house today, it was rather odd, I suppose its because his step brother is coming to town, but you know.. I like it. He needs to clean my room now :)

Anways, Im gonna shower because we are going out to eat at Famous Daves. I love Famous Daves. YUMMIE!



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