March 20, 2004 - 9:22 a.m.

26 days

Last @ the Bar:


The Stuff you find out when you go to the bar let me tell you... So last night my friend Krissy and I went out with her man, Jason, its crazy we must have a thing for jasons... Well guess who I ran into at the bar??? You got it LION BOY himself, and wanna hear the latest news? I'm not his type... Weird huh? I'm not his type. Whatever that means. Yet he came over here one night, I seriously do fricken hate men! I went up to him at Bucks and I'm like thanks for telling me directly that I'm not your type. I am good at reading people. I knew there was a reason why I don't call people. If they wanted to talk to me they would call.

So speaking of that, I always love liquid courage, I called Dustin last night, I am as complicated as they come let me tell you, I called him back this morning, and told him that I didn't call him because I was just drunk, but I did, I didn't want him feeling all *sad* I don't know if he would or not, but I told him that. You know what? It is sooo much easier for me to walk away from this, it honestly is. I just wish I could do that, infact, I think I can because I haven't called him for a month, so its easy. What I think I need to do in general is get a new cell phone number, I really want a new one, I want a new everything. Is that possible? I mean I don't know he asked me if I was going to be home that week he was in town, I told him I am going to California May 10-20th, but I'm really not, I am going to Cali on April 15th! I lied to him. I don't lie. I feel that the truth will do 98% of the time. Yet, I am so hard at explaining my feelings to him. Its weird. I just want to walk away! I'm pretty sure their is someone out there for me and eventually he will find me..

I really cant write a whole lot anymore its 9:30 in the fricken morning I didnt go to bed until 5 a.m. so I should not be up now, but I am waiting for my mom.. I'll write more later.



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