so I was laying in bed naked not being able to fall asleep, not wanting to call dustin and wake him up because he has to be to work at 545 so until I write in this thing, I won't be able to sleep. I have a lot on my mind. Where to begin.

I think I did my good deed, for the next few years. Last night at work this guy bought some stuff, and I gave him his change back which consisted of a 50 dollar bill, he left it laying on the counter. JUST LEFT IT! Fricken 50 dollars is a lot of money to me, so me being the nice girl that I am, I quickly ran it out to him. He kind of-sort of said thank you.

I get the weirdest people in that fricken store. I really hate closing by myself too, it kind of creeps me out, I honestly didn't know we could have so many weirdos in this town. I had the cutest guy come in last night, ironic huh? Well, yeah... He went into the bunny booth, so that pretty much said it all there.. damn him!

Last night dustin and I talked, again. Well we have been talking about the same stuff lately. Just same ol-same ol things. He told me he would call me today, well he didnt call me until 9/10 o'clock. I was like Oooo Great. This is how its gonna be, I asked everyone for advice, Hell I got desperate enough, I asked jason for advice. Suprisingly, he told me to go for it.. *in shock* he said, if you dont go for it, you will always wonder what if. Which is true... He also told me this very "inspirational quote" I don't remember how it goes for verbatim, but the ending was "to be loved by the person you love is everything" HOW FRICKEN TRUE? It was really weird hearing this stuff from Jason. Of all people. If you are willing to trust in a person when all others tell you to go against it, if you are willing to risk getting your heart broken because you believe in that other person, Then that is true love! I know everyone is sick of me talking about dustin, but something brought us back together. I am going to do everything in MY POWER to set aside foolish pride and fear because I do want things to work between us. I don't want to be like last time. Its like when you meet that special someone, you know why it didn't work out with anyone else.. That is how I feel when I talk to dustin. Ich bin w�tend in der Liebe mit dustin I am just over-whelmned its all just to good to be true? Like Krissy said if its to good to be true it probably is? Is that possible? Is this to good to be true. I asked dustin this question, he said "To good to be true, would be you here with me or me there with you" So who knows. All I can do is take it one day at a time and that is what I am going to do.

On apartment news, Tyler and I gave zim our notice we gave him about 75 days notice, so I think that is a decent amount of time to find roommates and do all the other stuff, well he wants us to stay through August, I know I do not want to stay in the apartment through August because 1) Suzy has worn out her welcome LONG TIME AGO, but I dont say anything, because If the case was reversed, I dont know. This is zims girlfriend, so I need to learn that, but I think he has settled. Its the "love of his life" so I respect that, I dont see much of her anymore, and we dont hear them have sex all the time now, maybe if respect would have went on when we first brought it up, I dont know 2) Tyler and I want a house. We just simply want to move into a house and if we stay until August all of the good houses will be taken, because the college students will be back in town.

Its just zim has shut us all out, he wanted to make a "roommate day" but that never happened. So we could spend time together, but hell.. I hardly see him anymore. I hear through other people shit going on, someone he works with told me something, and I'm like hell, I haven't see zim for a week almost so of course I haven't heard that. Mac his other good friend noticed zim changed too, like not spending time with friends etc. I ran into him the other day. So I dont know. Its all fricken confusing.

On happy notes. I am going to cal-a-for-ny-a-baby! Real soon!

Well, shit I have this all out and open now, so I'm going to bed. I'm tired.

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