Have you ever thought about someone more than you think about yourself? Thats how I am with Dustin right now, I am thinking about him a lot.. I just want him to tell me things are going to be okay and that he still loves me, because I love him with all of my heart, I have only loved two guys this much and one I know will be in my life forever. Thank you very much zim, you have the best friend anyone can ask for! You have been here with me through thick and thin when I got mad at you because I was stressed about dustin you stayed by me, that night I just wanted to give you the biggest hug and tell you that I love you, because you know what I truly do love you with all of my heart too. You have been the worldest best friend, I love you man. I just want you to be happy and if suzy makes you happy then so be it. Just don't settle, you do not have to settle... Remember that..

Anyways on to new things, last night work out at TKD was rough, my whole body aches today, I'm sitting at work bored as usual. I have decide I'm againt valetines this year, yes its probably because I am a bit jealous that I don't have dustin, but I guess that is a part of life... BTW thank you zim and todd for the beautiful roses. I feel all special I got a total of 18 roses today. They definately cheered me up. I love flowers, but I'm still ANTI valentines, ha ha sorry violet but thats what I am this year :) I have decided that next year for valentines day I am going to purchase myself nice boobs... I think I deserve it. :) I have always wanted to have "fuller" boobs so why not get them, next year I will be able to afford them.. Speaking of money, I got my taxes today, but I wrote my mother a HUGE FAT check for all of my taxes, but 20 dollars. YAY I'm rich..

About the recent events in fargo the wholeprostitution thing that gives us dancers a bad name, because I personally love dancing, I am confident enough in my body that I love dancing, I love getting naked, I love being paid to DANCE I would not have sex ewww. ! Thats all I have to say.. I can't believe these women would subject themselves to that.. God, that is fucking digusting.

My mind has been else where this week, I had a nail appointment today that I completely forgot about, so I will have to call them tomorrow and rescheldue to get my nails done, also I forgot about my friend Randy coming over on thursday, I just haven't been myself lately, I suppose most of it has to do with "he who shall not be named" for my sanity, well we all know who it is, but damn it this boy has so much power over me he doesn't know about.. I wish he knew though maybe he would realize that I do love him, for who he is, anyways new subject..

Last night Zim and I went out with my friends Alan & Chris, it was so much fun we went to Geckos. I had a blast, I haven't hung out with alan in forever.. I miss him.. I miss the good ol chats we use to have about "cute boys" oo la la. He of course asked me if I was dating anybody, I knew that question was coming.. Then after Zim went to work, I went to Jacks house to party, it was fun.. I got home @ like this 3 this morning, if not later. We were going to go to the casino, but we decided against that..

This guy is the weirdest fucking thing ever. He is asking me to pick out his gifts for the bachelor and bachelorette parties. GOD he doesn't know the difference between a dildo and a vibrator. I am not picking out his shit, I gave him helpful suggestions. WEIRDO! I just want him to leave. I just wish I could sit here tonight and not do anything, but no people have to come get their last minute valentines "pleasure" items, so I have to work sigh I suppose I better do some work then huh?

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