So me and nick talked about stuff we have never talked about before. Its weird, not its not that weird, but we have never talked about serious stuff. We have only been hanging out for a few weeks, but I am really starting to like this guy? I don't know if that is a good thing though. Sure one would say yes it is, but I always get to thinking I dont deserve to be happy, I dont know why, I just think that..

God, what if he ever read this he would think fuck this chic is weirder than I thought. ha ha

you know I always get like this when I start liking a guy, I didnt get this way around dustin though, with him it seemed so natural. I miss that. Im not good at picking up guys, I hate worrying if I look okay, or if I am ever going to date again... Ugh!!! With dustin I didnt have to worry about any of that with him we had instant attraction to each other. I didnt want anybody else but him, I remained faithful to him. Maybe, I should just go with the flow with nick, not worry, I'm going to let him to all the asking to hang out now, see where he wants this to go, maybe we will only be just friends, but he is really fun to hang out with. I mean how many guys watch 6 hours straight of harry potter? [smile] :) Its late or is it early? Anyways im going to bed...

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