ugh troy called and woke me up today. I normally sleep til at least 11. We went out to lunch yesterday, we went out to eat at applebees. I'm not a huge fan of applebees infact its probably the worst resturant in town. YUCK, but me being who I am I said sure, we can eat at applebees. smile We did a whole lot of talking. I asked him about his son, his son is 12, he is going to the bikini contest today.. IM SCARED SHITLESS! Seriously there is going to be over a 1,000 people there. There are 12 girls in the final. OMG! I dont want troy to go, I dont want to scare him away already with my fat ass ya know. OMG OMG OMG OMG take a deep breath heather, it will be okay taking deep breaths. Okay I'm still not better. I'm glad I can get my friend tami in tonight. Even though she is not 21, but she has to come in with me. Maybe I should just say Fuck the contest and stay at home. I'm scared. In all honestly I am. My sister has a bad headache I think the nerves from doing the finals are getting her. I odn't know though. My stomach just feels weird. I am going to get drunk before I go, I don't even care. Not sure I can do this w/o a little liquid courage, hell I'm going to need a lot of it.

Anyways back to troy. We did a lot of talking yesterday, which is good, but he kind of reminds me of two people I use to hang out with, Jimmy and Chance, both of these guys are guys I use to just "hang out" with. We never dated, we just made out. He just seems to have their personality. I don't know what I mean by that, but I know what I mean. Okay does that make sense?

Things between me and nick are not goign to be the same, I do know that. I mean I know I just wont text message him and he say anything anymore. Even though he did get me flowers, I mean that doesn't make up for that. Yes, it was a nice gesture, yes I forgave him, but it doesn't make up for not talking to me. I don't know. I'm still mad over that. Oh well though. I hope we can talk. I told him this, but I said to him I'm not sure we will do a lot of han ging out anymore ya know. Hes ilke what is the point of talking then. I'm said I don't know. I told him I was tired and that I wanted to get to bed last night and I said to him can we talk later today or at islands, then he said, "Well I'm not going to islands" but 20 minutes before that he wanted me to come down to DL sooner so we could hang out. I said to him I dont want to hang out with UR friends. Shit is weird, I have no idea.

I suppose I need to go prepare myself for this big day. All my goals are for doing tonight is actually entering the bikini contest. I dont want to win, I just want to actually go up there and do it.

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